Lynda Bellingham

'They were both in their seventies. He was a farmer but he had an accident and went from being a very fit to not so fit older man. He found it very difficult to cope. We tried to find some respite for her. Unfortunately, she went into one home where she fell and broke her hip so she then became completely immobile. The whole situation then quickly degenerated.

'Dementia care is such a different form of caring. You have to make the person feel secure. The paid carers did their best but they were practical people and would ask mum questions and that panicked her.

'The emotional strain on my father was immense. It’s not like seeing anything getting any better. My sister bore the brunt of the caring. I would go down for a week to give my sister a break and solely concentrate on my mother. A week is nothing but it made me conscious of how important respite is.

'When mum went in the home dad was heartbroken. Again I would go down for a week to be with him. We would go over old times. It was important for my father to have those memories and talk to somebody because you lose your sense of identity when you are a carer. I consider it an honour to represent the ‘invisible’.

'You recognise me, now recognise them.'

Photography by Sam Mellish.

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