I'm Feeling Lonely

Feeling lonely? You're not alone. Here's advice for older people and carers on coping and finding support.

Feeling lonely occasionally is normal, and it often passes on its own. But sometimes it doesn't and if it's starting to have more of an impact on your day-to-day life, you’re not alone. If you’re an older person experiencing loneliness, or you're caring for someone who is, we're here to help. 

It’s important to recognise that feeling lonely in later life is entirely normal, but it’s often misunderstood. As human beings, we have a deep biological need for connection, but our reality is often very different. In 2023, a survey from Nextdoor in partnership with Marmalade Trust revealed that 85% of UK adults had experienced loneliness in the last 12 months.

Loneliness in older adults isn’t just about being alone – it can affect people at any age or stage of life. However, as we age, social connections, friendships, and health may change or deteriorate, and the impact on how we feel can be difficult to manage.

Why am I feeling lonely?

There are all sorts of reasons you might be feeling lonely. You might not even be able to put your finger on a specific reason – sometimes, it can just hit you unexpectedly. Whatever the situation, there are things you can try that might help.

You might be feeling lonely if something's changed:

• Your daily routine: it can be hard to adjust to less socialising and structure in your week after retiring.

• A relationship: you or a loved one may have moved house, a relationship may have ended, or someone close has passed away.

• Your health: physical or mental health conditions can stop you from doing the things you used to enjoy.

• Your confidence: you might feel less able to get out and about, especially if you're feeling anxious or isolated. 

How can I feel less lonely?

There are lots of things you could try that have helped other people feel less lonely. Making changes can feel daunting, especially if you're feeling low – but deciding to make an active change can help you feel more positive and in control.

You could:

• Try a new activity, revisit an old hobby or join a club. Age UK East Sussex offers activities including Walking Football and Walking Cricket. Or you can join your local Healthy Living Club.
• Find a local support group; the new Isabel Blackman Centre in Hastings is a health, leisure and wellbeing centre for the over 50s, with a café restaurant, exercise studio and recreation groups
• Explore online activities like games or social media
• Look for a volunteering opportunity; supporting others can be an opportunity to feel valued and establish new connections. Befriending someone else can
• Get in touch with your local Age UK East Sussex for help and support.

Find out more about things you could try that might help you feel better

How can I look after myself?

Loneliness can have a significant impact on wellbeing. It can lead to you feeling low or out of sorts – or just struggling to work up the energy to do anything. It can be easy to slip into not taking care of yourself as well as you normally would when you're feeling this way.

Here are some things that can keep you feeling physically and mentally well:

1. If you can, getting out of the house can help break up the day.
2. A bit of light exercise, even just a walk to the shops, can really boost your mood – especially if you can spend a bit of time in green space.
3. Eating and drinking healthily can help you feel well in yourself. If it's difficult to find the motivation to cook, you could look up a new recipe you'd like to try or see if there's a cooking class for older adults in your area.
4. Some people notice they drink more alcohol when they're feeling down. Keep an eye on the units – and get support from an organisation like Drinkaware if you need it.

Find out more about keeping your mind and body healthy