I'm Still Me

Tina & Chris's story

“Sometimes I think the language of love is spoken in so many ways that you don’t need words. You just need people’s actions, their empathy, their support.”

Tina and Chris have spent nearly four decades side by side. From running nightclubs and pubs in Plymouth, to travelling across Europe in their motorhome while working for the Caravan and Motorhome Club, their life together has always been one of partnership.

That’s why, when things started to change, it felt like the ground was shifting between them. At first, it was small things. Chris asked what Legionella was - something he’d known for years in his work. He became agitated more easily, and Tina noticed his personality start to shift. At first, it wasn’t clear what was happening, and she assumed it might be depression. But within weeks of finally seeing a doctor, Chris was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with a rare form of frontotemporal dementia: semantic dementia.

“The neurologist said it was like an explosion going off in his brain.”

Semantic dementia affects the area of the brain responsible for understanding and expressing language. It hollowed out Chris’s ability to communicate. He gradually lost his vocabulary, then his ability to recognise every day objects, and now, he can no longer speak, read, or understand most instructions. “Since he was diagnosed, he stopped carrying money, cards. He can’t tell the time. He’s been in our house nearly four years - he’s never known the address.”

As his condition has progressed, Chris has become increasingly fatigued and life has had to slow down. But with that slower pace, Tina has learned to live more spontaneously, making the most out of the time and moments they have together.

Despite the rapid progression of the disease, Tina still sees the man she married in the small moments - even if he can’t express himself in words. “When he sees his friends now, they all want to hug him tightly, because they remember how kind he’s been over the years.”

Our “I’m Still Me” campaign is all about recognising that people living with dementia are still themselves. Their memories may fade, and communication may slip away, but the person, their values, kindness, sense of humour, their emotional responses - remains.

Chris no longer speaks, but Tina has found ways to stay connected to him. It hasn’t been easy - she’s had to learn how to communicate in new ways and respond to needs he can’t express. But she’s never stopped seeing him for who he is. “He’s reverted to being like a child, in his actions, in his ways. But I always make sure I protect his dignity. I always do my best to make sure he’s never in a position where he’d be embarrassed if he knew.”

Tina is clear that she wouldn’t be able to keep going without support. That came in the form of our Dementia Day Centre, where Chris now attends regularly, and in respite care that gives Tina a chance to breathe.

“When I brought Chris to the day centre, they’d never come across semantic dementia before. But they listened, they asked questions, and they got information in so that the carers could understand how best to support him.”

Caring for someone with dementia is complex. It takes a physical and emotional toll and is often isolating. Age UK Plymouth has helped Chris hold onto parts of himself - to remain visible, understood and respected. Through our Dementia Day Centre and respite care, we’ve supported Chris and Tina in navigating a very rare, very different journey with compassion and practical help.

“He’s not who he was, but he’s still him. The kindness is still there. The spirit is still there. I’ll keep showing up, because I know he would have done the same for me.”

Despite losing his ability to speak, understand instructions or recognise where he is, the team at our Dementia Day Centre recognise the person behind the diagnosis. They’ve offered Chris moments of comfort and compassion - and for Tina, they’ve offered her the reassurance that she’s not doing this alone. “Sometimes I think the language of love is spoken in so many ways that you don’t need actual words. You just need people’s actions, their empathy, their support.”

Even as dementia progresses, the person remains. Chris still feels, still responds, still shows glimpses of who he’s always been. That’s what “I’m Still Me” stands for - seeing the person, not just the diagnosis. With the support from Age UK Plymouth, that truth is protected every day.