Ray Henshaw
What is your volunteer role/s with Age UK Wakefield ?
I am a Home Visit Befriender.
If someone asked you what you do in you in your role with us, what would you tell them, could you give us a brief description?
I was attracted to this role after seeing a feature about the Home Visit Befriending service on the Look North news programme. I visit an elderly person in her home for an hour a week. We chat about anything and everything, have a cup of tea and have gotten to know one another. I am not there to do chores or run errands, I am there simply to bring company to a person who might be feeling lonely or isolated or unable to get out and about.
How long have you been volunteering with us?
I have been a volunteer for Age UK Wakefield District for just over 3 months so I am learning as I go. It is great knowing that I have access to all sorts of support and advice both from other volunteers and from the Age UK WD team - it does feel like I have been welcomed in to the family.
What made you want to volunteer with us?
I retired from my role as Principal of Minsthorpe Community College in South Elmsall in 2019 and have enjoyed the freedom that I then had to take up non work-related activities and opportunities. I think of myself as being a friendly and outgoing person and saw this as an opportunity to help another person and I had the time to do it. There was still a big part of me that wanted to do something that I have done my whole life (and in my teaching career) and that is to help and support others and the Befriending service is enabling me to do just that.
What is the best part of your role?
What I will say is that volunteering helps volunteers too and it has been hugely rewarding for me. I so look forward to our weekly meets and come away with my spirits uplifted. I have learned so much about the past from our conversations and it is true what they say- “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” Older people have lived fascinating lives and Befriending has allowed me to meet someone I probably would not have met under normal circumstances and to see how their different experiences have shaped them. Week by week I have seen my client grow in confidence and take up every opportunity that is available to get out and meet new people and to make new memories. In return I am learning so much from her and I have had the privilege of getting to know someone completely new, who I may otherwise not have known if not for the Befriending Service.
What would you say is the hardest part of your role?
Not allowing boundaries to become blurred. I now have a genuine friendship with my client and I look forward to seeing her every week. I would like to do more to help her, take her to visit places, have her round for Sunday lunch, stuff like that, but I realise that I have to keep my distance. However, it is hard not to worry about her and about her health.
Is there a particular moment or story that sticks out from your time volunteering with us?
It has been a pleasure to see my client grow more and more in confidence and, as she has gotten more and more outgoing, she also has much to share with me- from her plans to spend a weekend in Liverpool, meeting new folk at coffee mornings to a day walking and stroking alpacas and llamas!
If someone told you they were interested in volunteering at Age UK Wakefield District, what advice or encouragement would you offer?
I would recommend doing this unreservedly. Visiting someone every week may not seem like much - but this shared reliable contact, the talk over the cup of tea that we have every meeting, can make all the difference to an isolated and lonely older person. However, this is not just a one way street as I am getting a great deal out of this relationship as well. It has been hugely rewarding for me and I come away from our meetings feeling really happy.
How easy did you find the process of applying to volunteer with us through to getting started in your role?
The whole thing was incredibly easy. After seeing the feature on Look North I really liked the idea of the service and found the contact details of the Age UK Wakefield branch and enquired if a similar service was run in this District. Almost immediately I received a response from the Volunteer Services Manager Tracey Shaw confirming that Wakefield did offer this service and she offered to meet me to discuss becoming a volunteer. We met for coffee and the role was explained to me and I was soon offered the details of a potential client. After my induction and background checks I was paired with a 79 year old lady and we had a “chemistry” meeting together led by Vicky Dews, Befriending Coordinator to see if it felt right for both myself and my prospective Befriendee and to outline the ground rules for our meetings. Well, we never stopped chatting and after about 15 minutes Vicky quietly slipped away and the two of us talked as if we had known each other for ages! Age UK WD offers continued support, there are free training courses offered and there is always someone to talk to if you need help or advice. I feel incredibly well supported.