I'm feeling lonely
Feeling lonely occasionally is normal, and it often passes on its own. But sometimes it doesn't – and if it's...
I'm worried about someone feeling lonely
If you think a friend or family member might be feeling lonely, it can be hard to know how to bring it up – or whether you even should. We can help you find the right way to help them.
How do I tell if someone's feeling lonely?
It can be tricky to know whether someone's feeling lonely. There are lots of reasons why they might not have said anything to you or anyone else. They might not even recognise that they're feeling lonely – or if they do, they might not want to admit it.
Perhaps they don't seem their usual self, whether that's a recent change or something you've noticed over time. Or perhaps there's been a big upheaval lately, such as the death of their partner.
You might have noticed that they're:
- letting their routine slide (for example, getting up a lot later than usual)
- caring less about their appearance or personal hygiene
- not eating properly
- being negative about themselves
- withdrawing from things they used to enjoy.
It's natural to want to support our loved ones, and there are things you can try together that might help. But while you can be there for them, it's important to remember that it's not your responsibility to find the solution.
Sometimes, the person themselves needs to make a change to start feeling better – and that'll only happen when they're ready.
What can I do to help?
The best thing you can do to help the person you're worried about is to encourage them to talk about how they're feeling – whether that's to you or someone else. For example, they might feel more comfortable talking to a healthcare professional or to an organisation.
Lots of us feel awkward talking about our emotions, and loneliness can be a particularly difficult subject to navigate. There isn't a 'right' way to have this kind of conversation.
You might prefer to go for a walk together rather than sitting down for a face-to-face chat – or to start the conversation over text or on the phone.
If they're not ready to talk, it's best not to push them too hard. But you can let them know that you're there if and when they want to talk or find support. That might be all they need for the time being.
How can I help if they don't want to talk?
Talking about how we feel can be difficult. If the person you're worried about doesn't want to talk, or if it doesn't feel right within the dynamic of your relationship, there are still ways you can help:
- Let them know you're there. Don't be afraid to ask how they're feeling or if there's anything you can do to support them.
- Make plans with them. You could suggest meeting for lunch, going for a walk, or trying out a new club or activity together.
- Encourage them. Reassure them that it's possible to feel better with the right help. Offer support to make new social connections or access services that help with loneliness.
When someone's lonely, they can feel misunderstood and be irritable sometimes. It can be easier said than done, but try not to take it too personally.
Looking after yourself
When you’re caring for someone it’s easy to overlook your own needs. But looking after yourself is important and can help you manage better with your caring role.
Want more information?
We're here to help
We offer support through our free advice line on 0800 678 1602. Lines are open 8am-7pm, 365 days a year. We also have specialist advisers at over 120 local Age UKs.