Changing how we age at Christmas

Christmas is a time of giving, of sharing, of socialising. But what if you don’t have anyone to wrap a gift for, enjoy a meal with, or chat to?

A crisis hiding in plain sight

Figures released as part of Age UK's Christmas campaign, A Crisis Hiding In Plain Sight, reveal the heartbreaking reality of Christmas for so many older people, with one in two (6.3 million) older people saying they don't feel the joy they once felt at Christmas time, one in three (4 million) not putting up a Christmas tree, and 1 million feeling more isolated at Christmas that at any other time of year.

Thankfully, up and down the country, local Age UKs like Age UK Lewisham & Southwark are putting on Christmas celebrations that give older people in their communities an opportunity to enjoy what's supposed to be the most wonderful time of year.

“We know from the campaign that 5 million older people will be eating dinner alone on Christmas day, and 670,000 won’t see or speak to anyone that day, so events like this are vital,” says Jeff Porter, Director of Services for Age UK Lewisham & Southwark. Jeff came here on a six-month contract, during which the Coronavirus pandemic hit; six years later he’s still here. 

“There’s an excitement everyone gets from coming here,” continues Jeff, the sound of chattering voices and music coming from the other room. “Everybody goes away feeling that they’ve made friends. Some people don’t come here everyday, they pick and choose when they want to come and see us, but these parties are a really good way to get the community together, because Bermondsey is still a very close-knit community.”

And so, at 3pm on the Friday before Christmas, the party is in full swing at the Yalding Healthy Living & Learning Centre in Bermondsey. While buses and people doing their last minute shopping stream past the windows outside, inside there’s an air of togetherness and celebration. While they were expecting about 65 people today, it appears that a few more have turned up, though room is made for everyone.

A week full of good times

Some of the service users here are sitting together at tables, enjoying the warmth of temperature and atmosphere, as well as a drink and a chat with friends, old and new. Others, meanwhile, are energetically enjoying the songs being played by the DJ, which include both Christmas classics and nostalgic favourites.

It’s been a busy week for the staff and volunteers at Age UK Lewisham & Southwark. Only a couple of days ago, they played host to celebrity chef and entrepreneur Levi Roots, who dropped in to take part in their Kitchen Club, a monthly social that provides older people with a chance to cook and eat together, sharing dishes and culinary traditions. Their previous session included a spotlight on Mauritian food and traditions, while this most recent one, attended by Levi, featured Caribbean food. That has been carried over into their Christmas party too, which has a Bollywood theme, full of colour and the twinkling lights of Diwali threaded around the room.

An evolving service

Katrina Jinadu, Healthy Living & Learning Service Manager at Age UK Lewisham & Southwark, has been putting on Christmas parties here for 10 years. When she first started, things were very different – more akin to the more stereotypical idea of what day centres put on for older people – with cups of tea served and a generally sedate atmosphere. In addition, when it came to events like this, there was allocated seating, which made things rather cliquey and not necessarily welcoming to anyone attending for the first time. 

“People would see that and think, ‘Oh, it’s not for me’, based on having seen their parents or grandparents attending places like this back in the day,” explains Katrina of the need to change how we age in this community. “This is a very different cohort of people. They’re more socially connected. They’re more digitally engaged. So you need to be clear that that’s how it was, and this is how it is now. We’ve evolved – we’ve made celebrations like this more lively and more engaging.”

A warm embrace

Sandra, 74, was born in Jamaica and has lived a stone’s throw from the centre for almost 25 years. She would come here to buy her lunch when she was in her sixties, but didn’t have the need to embrace the other services on offer. Having since developed health conditions that have affected her mobility, Sandra now comes to the exercise classes here. “But this is my first Christmas party experience,” says Sandra.

When she was younger, Sandra was a touring singer who rubbed shoulders with the stars of the day, recalling the time she danced with Jimi Hendrix in a club on Carnaby Street in the 1960s, unaware of who the superstar guitarist was. These days, though Sandra has family in Jamaica, she lives alone and when at home tends to spend most of the time playing games on her mobile phone. “I’m a loner and I enjoy my own company, but I also know that it’s important to socialise, and the atmosphere to meet people here is very good.”

It’s not just other older people from the community here today, though. Sandra is joined for a plate of food by eight members of the Millwall Lionesses Football Club, who have volunteered to come and help out with serving food and chatting to everyone – providing an important intergenerational element. 

“I strongly believe that learning is for every day, and if you just stay with the same people, you can't have your circle be influenced,” explains Katrina. “So if you have people from different walks of life, different communities coming together, we are only going to grow and evolve. So, with the Millwall ladies coming in, they’re going to be able to talk about football, as well as their other interests and what they’re up to.”

It's certainly an opportunity that proves beneficial to Sandra, who's enjoyed the chance to meet new people of all ages. “It’s been a great time,” smiles Sandra. “And it’s allowed me to see the many other services available so close to my home.”

Meanwhile, for Katrina, once Christmas celebrations are complete and the New Year arrives, she'll already be planning next year's festivities with her team.

“We’ll look at what worked and what we can change to make it even better,” says Katrina, though there are some elements that remain essential. “You need bubbles, you need good music, you need good vibes, and you need nice aesthetics. Because when people come here and feel that it’s been planned with lots of love to a high standard, they encourage their friends and people they know to come too – so we can give even more older people in this community a happy Christmas.”