The making of Age UK's sex, relationships and intimacy information guide

At Age UK, we know it’s a misconception that sex stops being important at a certain age.

The problems caused by this go beyond harmful stereotypes. They have real-world consequences for older people, who are being left out of conversations about sexual wellbeing – in healthcare and in society more widely.

This was re-confirmed to us when our Information and Advice team visited a primary care conference, where a chance conversation with the counselling charity Relate turned to the lack of support available on sexual health and wellbeing for older people. It sparked an idea for something new.

Why do we need more information and advice about sex in later life?

Sexual health campaigns have progressed in recent decades – but most still focus on younger people. Older people are too often treated as if they aren’t sexually active, or as if their needs don’t matter as much.

But data tells us that neither of those things are true. Rates of STIs have risen recently among people over 65 – with gonorrhoea cases up 44% and chlamydia cases up 39% between 2019 and 2023 – demonstrating a need for accessible, relevant guidance aimed at older audiences.

Many older people didn’t grow up with comprehensive sex education, which means conversations around safer sex, consent and emotional wellbeing can feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Combined with the fact that some healthcare professionals can be hesitant to raise the topic with older patients, it’s common for people to feel unsure of where to turn for information, advice and support.

Sex can also be a key part of general wellbeing. Sexual activity is associated with greater enjoyment of life throughout adulthood – and Age UK believes that older people are just as entitled to that as anybody else.

What did our audiences tell us?

During our initial research, we consulted Age UK’s Engagement Panel – an initiative that invites older people from a wide range of backgrounds to share their perspectives on a topic. What they told us was honest, insightful and, at times, very moving.

Lots of respondents noted that society today is more open and liberal than it used to be, with many expressing relief that it’s now more acceptable for older people to date, start relationships and live together without being married. Others said that, while attitudes have progressed, younger people often still assume that sex isn’t a part of life for older people, and that healthcare professionals had dismissed sexual concerns due to their age.

There were concerns and challenges that recurred throughout the responses – from coping with bereavement and relationship breakdown to feeling body-conscious, worrying about scams and feeling left behind by the world of online dating.

Their contribution helped us shape a guide that speaks to the diversity of sex and relationships in later life.

How was the guide developed?

After conducting background research and consulting Age UK’s Engagement Panel, it was time to put together a first draft. At Age UK, we’re lucky to have a fantastic team of Technical Advice Support Officers who provide expert knowledge across a wide range of subjects, and we worked closely with our in-house health specialist to gather more research and to ensure that the information and advice was accurate and up to date.

We then shared the first draft with our Readers’ Panel – a group of over 400 volunteers who act as a sounding board and provide a much-valued audience perspective in the development of our resources. They helped us identify where we were missing important information, where we could improve on structure and layout, and how the tone of voice made them feel.

Finally, it was time to transform the content into a fully designed-up Age UK information guide. Perhaps predictably, choosing a cover illustration proved to be one of the trickiest parts of the entire production process – we didn’t want to shy away from representing the subject matter, but it turns out there’s a fine line to walk between cliché and obscene!

Why is Age UK talking about things like this?

Even before the idea for a new guide crystallised, Age UK was talking about sex in later life. Our article on the topic from 2019 remains one of the most visited on this blog, with nearly 50,000 visits in 2024 alone. The ongoing popularity of the article showed us that our audiences were interested in issues of sexual health and wellbeing, and that we needed more comprehensive information and advice resources to meet that demand.

Our new information and advice on sexual health and wellbeing supports our strategic priorities as a charity, too. We’re committed to transforming public attitudes, and this project helps us dismantle stereotypes that mean older people’s interests get overlooked. We’re also determined to make sure older people’s health and social care needs are met. This work helps support best practice for professionals and ensure older people understand their rights and options.

What do you hope the guide will achieve?

Age UK wants older people to feel seen and understood. By talking openly about sexual health and wellbeing, we challenge harmful assumptions and encourage a more age‑positive approach to relationships and intimacy.

The guide brings together practical advice on a wide range of topics, including safer sex, toys and aids, online dating and consent. It also signposts to trusted organisations and services so readers know where to turn for more support. We hope it helps older people feel empowered to talk about their needs, seek support when they need it, and enjoy intimacy in whatever form it takes for them.

Not everyone feels comfortable searching for sexual health and wellbeing content online, and not everyone uses the internet. That’s why the guide is also available in print, supporting our aim to reduce inequalities by ensuring that all older people – including those who are less digitally confident – can access reliable information about the topics that matter to them.