“My mum’s my best friend,” says Sarah of her mum Margaret, who bravely shared her cost of living struggles as part of our winter fundraising campaign.
“She’s the first person I go to with any problem, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t speak to her,” Sarah continues. “We’ve been really close since I was little, which I think is partially because my dad was away so much when I was younger.”
A happy three
Sarah’s dad was in the army, which meant that Margaret often had long stretches of being the sole parent to her children while her husband was away completing training and assignments.
“When Dad was away, Mum would get loads of treats in, pull the telly into her bedroom, and me and my brother Richard would cuddle up in bed to watch films with her,” Sarah remembers. “The three of us were together so much, and we built up a great relationship.”
Margaret agrees: “I’ve got a brilliant relationship with both Sarah and Richard – they’re my rocks and they really look after me. And even though they were quite different as children, they hardly ever fought. I’ve got so many happy memories of playing with them and us going on holidays together, which wasn’t nearly as expensive then as it is now.
“I remember visiting Lake Lindau in Germany with them, while we were living out there for my husband’s army posting. It’s near the Austrian border and really close to the Alps, but it had been cloudy during the week we were there so we hadn’t seen the mountains. Then one day the skies cleared and there they were. Sarah and Richard were so excited. It was just magic.”
Mum's the first person I go to with any problem, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t speak to her.
Nice times with Ninny
Margaret’s bond with her family crosses generations too, because she also enjoys a close relationship with Sarah’s daughter.
“I live just across the road from my mum. I always say that it doesn’t matter where she moves – I’ll follow her!” Sarah laughs. “Being so near means she’s built up a great relationship with my daughter. They spent so much time together when she was little because my mum helped out lots when I had to go back to work.”
“She’s a lovely kid,” Margaret says of her granddaughter. “When she was really little, she couldn’t say ‘Granny’ – so she calls me ‘Ninny’. She used to come over every Friday evening and we’d watch films and I’d do us a buffet or get us a McDonald’s. Then in the school holidays when her mum was working I might take her to the funfair at Whitley Bay, or to a café for a meal and we’d be ‘ladies who lunch’.”
Being able to rely on Margaret’s support as a grandmother as well as a mother means the world to Sarah: “Mum’s obviously raised two kids of her own, so she’s always there with great advice. And it’s handy that she’s not just at the end of a phone, but physically there too. She even helped out with night feeds when my daughter was a baby, so that I could get a full night’s sleep at least once a week!
“I’m trying to raise my daughter the way I was raised, and I hope that I’ve instilled all of my mum’s priorities and values into my daughter.”
Comedy and courage
Speaking of Margaret’s values, what qualities does Sarah most admire about her mum?
“Her strength, definitely,” Sarah reveals. “She’s been through so much, like all the worries she faced about her finances when my dad died, but she always bounces back. I’m immensely proud that she’s been part of Age UK’s campaign to help raise money for a good cause.
“And as well as being resilient, she’s got a wicked sense of humour!”
“Well, the way the world is today, it’s no good being miserable,” Margaret says simply. “I do get fed up sometimes, but most of the time I try to laugh it off. I’m 75 now, after all, so I don’t take any crap.”
