Unfortunately, Alicia is no stranger to grief. In her 63 years, she’s mourned her mum, her husband and plenty of friends – but she was surprised when stopping working left her with a sense of loss, too.
“It felt like a bereavement, because I’d worked for 35 years,” she says. “I miss all my colleagues, because they were really lovely.”
Alicia lives with cerebral palsy, and worked for many years in the HR department of a major bank. But following the pandemic, changes to her health and her working environment made it impossible for Alicia to stay. “They were very good and tried their best,” Alicia says of her former employers, “but my health had deteriorated and they couldn’t provide the level of support I needed to work from home. I had to make the decision to leave.
“For ages, I couldn’t tell anybody that I’d had to finish work. I felt ashamed.”
I went through a time when I was grieving for the past, but it's no good thinking what life might have been. The friendship service makes the world of difference.
Independence through exercise
As well as feeling the emotional impact of being forced to give up work, Alicia also had to deal with the abrupt change to her finances. But a chat with Age UK helped her to apply for extra money that she’s entitled to.
“Age UK were really kind and helpful. They told me about benefits, because I’d never had them before.”
The additional money Alicia now receives helps her to better afford her membership to a local gym, where she’s been doing exercises to support her strength and mobility. “I walk in the swimming pool – I can walk better there than I can walk outside,” Alicia explains. “And I’ve got a personal trainer, who’s been helping me build my strength so I can get back up if I fall. He also helps me do stretches, because I can’t do them on my own.
“I’m trying my best to keep in my own home as long as possible. If I didn’t go to the gym I think I would deteriorate more physically.”
A chance to chat
Going to the gym regularly also allows Alicia to socialise, which is something she’s missed since finishing her job.
“I have a good caring package: I get a carer in the morning and one in the night, and they run everything like a military operation,” Alicia says. “But it’s nice to talk to someone other than my carers.”
That’s why Alicia has connected with Age UK’s friendship services, too. She’s recently been enjoying visits with an in-person befriender from Age UK Leicestershire and Rutland, and she also speaks to her telephone friend once a week.
“That phone call each week makes such a difference to me,” she says. “When you apply for a telephone friend with Age UK they ask you what your interests are, and I've got quite a lot in common with mine. We seem to like the same books and the same films. And she tells me all about her family and what they’ve been doing. It's so lovely.”
Finding new friends and keeping mobile has helped Alicia to look at life and her future more positively. “I went through a time when I was grieving for the past,” she explains. “But I've snapped out of that now, because it's no good thinking what life might have been. I'm doing all right, and the friendship service makes the world of difference. The easiest option would be to stay at home and stare at the television, so I'm trying to fill my life up with different things.”
